Have you ever wondered why people believe in the phrase that all fingers are not equal? Such a phrase for you can make more sense when you get to read this inspirational memoir, “Releasing Alexandra”, coauthored by Sandra & Lee J. Everitt.
Sandra grew up in a household filled with lively personalities—each of her sisters had her own way of expressing herself. Conflict was not uncommon, but it had a pattern: Brenda fought with Kathy, Brenda fought with their mother, and Barb fought with Brenda. But Sandra? Sandra fought with no one.
Her older sister Barb often recalled how Sandra would simply run down the hall and disappear into her room at the first sign of trouble. It was her way of coping, her way of navigating a world that often felt overwhelming. Unlike her siblings, she avoided confrontation at all costs. Her strategy wasn’t just avoidance—it was complete withdrawal. And in that solitude, she found refuge.
The Escape into Silence
Sandra’s reluctance to engage in arguments wasn’t because she had no feelings about them. On the contrary, she felt everything deeply. She just didn’t know how to verbalize her emotions. At a young age, she may not have even had the vocabulary to express what she was experiencing. Instead, she internalized it all.
Books became her escape. While her sisters clashed and expressed their frustrations openly, Sandra would retreat into the pages of a novel, losing herself in other worlds and other lives. Literature offered her the comfort she struggled to find in real-life interactions. By the age of eight, she had already read Gone with the Wind—not once, but multiple times. It wasn’t just about the story; it was about disappearing into something bigger than herself.
The Weight of Suppression
Being known as the “perfect” child came with its burdens. It meant never making waves, never drawing attention to herself, and never allowing her true emotions to surface. It was a lonely way to navigate childhood. But it was also how she survived.
Her mother, though loving, didn’t fully understand her. Unlike her more outspoken daughters, Sandra kept everything locked away. When conflict arose, her mother’s response was often, “Get over it.” But emotions don’t simply disappear; they simmer beneath the surface, waiting for an outlet. For years, Sandra had none.
As she grew older, she found herself confiding occasionally in her father or Barb, but even those moments were rare. It wasn’t until much later in life that she would begin to unravel the effects of all those suppressed emotions.
Strength or Emotional Weakness?
There’s a paradox in Sandra’s story: Does avoiding conflict make someone emotionally weak, or does it make them incredibly strong? On one hand, repressing emotions can take a heavy toll, leading to anxiety and unresolved pain. But on the other hand, it takes incredible strength to endure silently, to hold in emotions when every fiber of your being wants to release them.
Sandra’s avoidance of conflict made her seem like a sweet, well-behaved child. But beneath that exterior was a complex individual who carried more than her fair share of emotional weight. For years, she coped in the only way she knew how.
The Magic of Transformation
Sandra’s transformation didn’t happen overnight. It took years before she truly began to release the emotions she had bottled up since childhood. Marriage, life experiences, and newfound confidence allowed her to finally embrace her emotions rather than suppress them.
Her story is a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit. Some children who suppress their emotions grow up to be emotionally fragile, but others—like Sandra—emerge stronger. Her journey teaches us that healing is possible, that silence doesn’t mean weakness, and that transformation happens when we finally allow ourselves to feel.
Through Releasing Alexandra, readers witness not just a personal journey of self-discovery but a universal lesson: Strength doesn’t always roar. Sometimes, it’s found in quiet endurance, in the pages of a book, and in the journey toward emotional freedom.