Behind every personal transformation, there is often someone who believes in us before we fully believe in ourselves. For me, that person was my husband, Lee J. From our teenage years to our later life together, his steady belief in me became a powerful force that helped me grow from the shy and anxious Sandy into the confident, independent Alexandra.

Our relationship began as a classic small-town teenage romance. I was only fourteen when we started dating, and he was already in his senior year of high school. From the start, Lee J. treated me as his equal, even when I had not yet learned to see myself that way. He never tried to change me, but he also never let me settle for less than he knew I was capable of.

One of the earliest tests of his role as my advocate came when I told my father I wanted to graduate from high school early so I could marry Lee J. My father had hoped I would go to college, but I had other dreams. While the decision disappointed him, Lee J. supported me completely. He did not push me toward his vision for my life but instead encouraged me to pursue what felt right for me at the time. That kind of trust laid the foundation for how we would face challenges together in the years ahead.

When Lee J. joined the Air Force, our lives changed dramatically. We moved away from everything familiar, and I had to adapt to new environments, communities, and responsibilities. Military life can be isolating, but it was during those years that Lee J. helped me begin to break free from the limits I had placed on myself. He encouraged me to step out, meet people, and handle things independently when he was away. By the time we returned to Idalou in 1974, he loved that Alexandra, the more confident, capable side of me was now a permanent part of my personality.

The clearest sign of his advocacy came when he suggested we buy our own business. I was nervous and filled with self-doubt. I told him I knew nothing about running a window covering shop. His response was simple but powerful: I had felt the same way before starting at the Kirby store, and I had thrived there. He believed I could do the same with The Window Gallery. That belief gave me the courage to try.

Even when I had to make difficult decisions, Lee J. stood behind me. He never made me feel as though I had to explain myself or justify my instincts. Instead, he respected my leadership. Over time, people began to know him more as “Sandy’s husband” than the other way around, and he wore that title with pride.

Support systems matter because they remind us of our worth when our own confidence wavers. Lee J.’s belief in me did not just help me grow—it created space for me to see myself in a new light. He celebrated my victories, accepted my missteps without judgment, and allowed me the independence to succeed on my own terms.

A partner who advocates for you is not there to take over your journey. They are there to walk beside you, to hold the mirror up so you can see your own strength, and to cheer you on as you step into it. For me, Lee J. was that person. His steady presence and unwavering belief in me made it possible for Alexandra to emerge and thrive.

If you want to read a story about personal growth, partnership, and the power of having someone in your corner, I recommend our book“Releasing Alexandra.” It is proof that the right kind of support can help you become the best version of yourself.

Head to Amazon to purchase your copy: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967109621.